Boundaries

Boundaries are important in absolutely every aspect of a marriage/relationship. There are also different types of boundaries for different circumstances in those relationships. When most people think about what boundaries are, a lot of people will say that boundaries refer to personal space. While there are those kinds of boundaries as well, there are a lot more aspects to it than you may realize.

When you think about your family and different families you know, there might be different boundaries that your family has set in comparison to what other families have set. For instance, in my family, I told my parents everything in high school. On the opposite side of that, I knew a lot of kids that told their parents absolutely nothing. There could be boundaries of what your family talks about openly or different boundaries for privacy. It just depends on how you were raised. Now if you exclude kids from the situation and just think about your relationship or even your parent's relationship, there are absolutely things you just don’t talk about with people outside of that relationship. 

Sexual intimacy is very important in a marriage and other people shouldn’t know about it or the problems it may have. The same can go for arguments you and your partner have. In my opinion, you shouldn’t vent to a friend, parent, or sibling about why you might be mad at your spouse. By doing that, it can lead to a lot bigger problems such as, the person you are venting to can tell everyone else they know about your personal problems or the person you are talking to about the problems can turn the situation negative which changes the conversation into a bash session on your spouse which can make your anger even stronger. If you have a problem with your husband or wife or even boyfriend/girlfriend, talk about it with them. If you bring the problem straight to them, it can be resolved easier than just talking crap about them to a friend. 

Another important boundary that should be talked about more often is the boundaries you have set with your friends outside of your relationship. For example, if you have a really close guy friend that isn’t your boyfriend or husband, and you talk about really deep things with them, that can strengthen that emotional bond instead of your actual relationship with your partner. Some people will argue that having an emotional connection or relationship can be stronger than that of a physical relationship. Also, it is important to state that having a strong emotional relationship with some outside of your relationship, that can always lead to something more like an affair. No one ever wants to be cheated on and it can really mess up someone mentally. You should always work towards strengthening the relationship you have with your partner/spouse instead of one with a friend that you like being around or talking to. 

Now I am not saying that you can’t or shouldn't have friends outside of your relationships, but just make sure that they know the boundaries and they know who your first priority is. This topic of boundaries goes straight into having a high-fidelity relationship. When I first heard the word fidelity, I had no clue what it meant so I will share the definition with you. Fidelity means faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support. This is the most important thing in a relationship. It is important to know about boundaries and fidelity before you get into a relationship because a lot of people have commitment issues so knowing the details can help people know they need to work on before finding the one they want to be with for the rest of their life. You don’t want to mess up any boundaries because one mistake can lead to a life of regret and misery.