Divorce and Remarriage

    

    Something that a lot of families experience is divorce and remarriage. People that have never experienced it in their life don’t really know how much of an impact it puts on everyone's life in the family that is going through it. While children and spouses that have gone through it can end up really damaged because of it. 

    There are so many factors that can go into why people get divorced. However, researchers have found that the most common reason that people are getting divorced is because of a lack of commitment in the marriage. In other words, one person in the partnership is not being loyal to the other and is cheating on him or her. Some of the other common reasons that people are getting divorced are because there is too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse. When I was talking to a therapist of thirty years, he told me that when he is working with couples that want to get divorced and he asks them why their answer most of the time is because “it’s not as fun as we thought it was going to be.” This really irks me because that just shows you weren’t really ready to get married and it also shows that didn’t really love your spouse enough to try to work towards a future with them. 

    Now, let’s talk about the aspect of before you get married. So many people are terrified to get married, including me. My entire life I have heard how hard marriage is and how easy it is to just get a divorce. Especially in today’s day, a lot of the people in my generation have commitment issues and trust problems. This makes it hard to even date because nobody wants to be tied down or they “just want to have fun.” 

    This can also go for people who have been divorced and are told they should get remarried. It is really hard for them because they often think they don’t want what happened in their first marriage to happen in their next marriage. I have an aunt that has been married six different times and I can only imagine the problems this has caused. I also know a young man that just recently got a divorce from his first wife. When I asked him if he was going to try to start dating or even get remarried to someone else, he had a hard time with that idea. He explained to me that he doesn’t even know if he wants to get married again because he feels bad that his second wife won’t be his first and only wife. 

    The next problem comes from if while getting a divorce, kids are involved. This more often than not is very hard for the children. Depending on the reason the parents are getting a divorce, they have to figure out the custody of them and how that will work into their lives. I can go into a lot more detail about how it affects the children but we would be here forever. 

    Not only does divorce bring hardship into a family, but it also brings the attention of the outside world. Everyone from your extended family to your neighbors to people in your churchward will be wondering why you are getting a divorce. We need to remember as a community to not worry about what is going on because if we ask, it could open up fresh wounds. 

    Over the course of fourteen weeks, we have talked about a lot of different things regarding the family. There are so many different ideas in this day and age of what a family is or what it should be. After going back and looking through everything we have talked about, it is pretty clear that everything intertwines with one another. I invite you to think about your family or the future family you want to raise and what lesson you would like to take with you.