"Can I" < "Should I"

    


    How do I know if I am dating the right person? How do I know if I should marry this person? Am I doing the right thing? These could all potentially be questions we all have or will ask ourselves eventually.

    Dating and marriage nowadays are really complicated and hard. For some people, it is really easy but for most, it isn’t the most fun thing to do. There are so many circumstances that go into dating that people don’t realize have to happen. There is a phrase called “DTR.” I didn’t know what this meant until I moved up to Rexburg for my first semester of college. Once I found out that it meant “define the relationship,” it made a lot more sense. Defining the relationship is a big step in a relationship because it gives you the chance to know if you and your partner are on the same page as far as knowing what the other person thinks about it or what they want out of the relationship. This can even go into the engagement phase which was kind of hard for me to believe. There are people that are just friends and then randomly get engaged. There are also the people that are just dating and then are already planning their wedding before the engagement. Or they already have the wedding date set. 

    If you are dating someone or even set out to get married to them, it is never a bad idea to ask God if you should be with them or marry them. A lot of people think that just because it feels right means they don’t have to ask. When asking God about things, a lot of people mistake that for asking Him for them and just expecting to receive them. When asking got for answers, we should have the right attitude and mindset. This can help us to ask the questions in the right way and even how we could ask the questions more efficiently. When praying and asking God, we need to ask “should I” instead of “can I.” By asking “can I” the answer is going to be yes because obviously, you can do it but whether or not it is the right thing to do is still unanswered. Instead, we should ask “should I.” This narrows the answer down to if we should do it and if it is what God wants us to do. By doing this we can know if it is God’s will and we can know if it is what we are supposed to do. 

    The reason to pray for answers is simple. It takes having to find an answer of our own off of our shoulders. It also puts trust in God which results in a closer relationship with Him. A scripture that I like that goes perfectly with this concept is James 1:15. It says “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” This is the scripture that Joseph Smith read when he was wondering what church to attend. After reading this he went to pray and received the First Vision. 

    I love this scripture so much because it gives me peace of mind as well as a piece of knowledge that God wants to talk to us. We just have to “knock on the door” and He will answer it with what we need. God answers our prays in His time and sometimes the answer might not be what we wanted or expected but it is what He wants for us at that time.




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